Tuesday, September 28, 2004

In Search of Intelligent Life

I don't want to get off on a rant, but. . .

Is Humanity the dominant lifeform on Earth?

No... I am not talking about that creepy dog telepathy thing that makes us pet them even when we have repeatedly told them to go away.

I mean the largest organism on the planet, generic suburbanite lawns. Look at the maneuvering we get from lawns, we feed them, buy it a drink, cut and comb it's hair. Then they make you Like it. We give and give, and what thanks do we get? Aliens coming to Earth looking for intelligent life would pick the lawn beast over humanity in no time at all.

While mowing the lawn I was struck with an amazing idea. Maybe the experts were wrong about crop circles. Maybe they are just advertisements for an alien landscaping company that was busted down on the road needing some quick cash to make repairs and pay for their constantly growing motel bar tab.

Then I had a sudden moment of angst! What if golf courses read like a declaration of war, or really bad erotica to them? Could we blame it all on malicious adolescent alien taggers defacing the Earth to avoid being zapped?

Ok! slow down there Sparkey... Deep breath... in... out... Maybe I got off on a rant there, maybe I was wrong... But I still withhold judgement till someone plays the rings of Saturn like a compact disc to see what it has to say.

No comments:

Post a Comment