Friday, December 09, 2005

The Revecess Blog :: Batoen: Dragon Quest Battle Pencils!

This appeals to the gamemaker in me. A covert game played by japanese students. A simple elegent system where their pencils become the dice and character piece.

The rules are pretty simple. Your character starts out with 100 hit points (this is written on the pencil, so some characters might have more or less). You can play with 2-4 players. Start off by doing rock-paper-scissors. Winner rolls his pencil first. Then you do what it says on the side that faces up. Usually this is 'miss' or 'everyone takes 50 damage.' But it can also target certain types. Each pencil has a star or a circle band. So sometimes it will say, 'all circle banded characters take 40 damage.' Sometimes, the monster has special abilities. Like, 'roll one more time, and use the effects below' where there will be a different set of abilities. As you can guess, if you lose all your hit points, you are out. Generally, after you roll, it is the other guy's turn. When you gain hit points, you are capped off at 100.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Good Taste is Timeless

Eat Hufu - The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

Bon Appetit!

I was playing around and tried the link for I'm too sensetive for this site and I was whisked away to here After enduring that horror, a Hufu taco sounded pretty damn good.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Just Don't Read it Out Loud

The Necronomicon Project

This hellish, Lovecraftian tome is actually a print-and-fold papercraft project you can assemble at home. If you dare.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, y'all.

Ummmmm Ok... Boo!

H A P P Y H A L L O W E E N from The Whitehouse

Ok call me old fashioned but enough is enough! Halloween has slipped into the cultural sargasso sea of Hallmark inanity. Next thing you know some clown in an ad agency will be churning out concept sketches for a holiday mascot to give consumers that warm and fuzzy feeling as they open their wallets. I can see it now, maybe a lovable scarecrow... no wait they did it as a movie series already... Though I wonder what sort of welcome trick or treaters would get from the Secret Service.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Soup? Art? Flummery?

The Guardian: Paris revolts over morbid artwork

I confess I am flummoxed! It used to be easy to tell the productive nutcases from the slackers who were too far gone to hunt down a good agent and go for the gravy. Sometimes Art imitates life... and sometimes it just imitates Elvis.

Ok so this guy had more issues than National Geographic. But at least as far as we know he was not Francophonic Hannibal Lector. I think I heard some of the lines before during a reading at a Chicago coffeehouse called Kill the Poets. Ain'tit Joe was a walking stream of unconsciousness. A nonstop monologue that blasted all logic and artsy posery on it's ass. Even the spooky poetess chick in the black deathsuit had to stop contemplating her impending suicide and scratch her head in incomprehension. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm zen...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

More Weird Science

Patently Silly :: Apparatus for Determining Dog's Emotions By Vocal Analysis of Barking Sounds and Method for the Same

Ok! I can see this person never owned by a dog. If he had owned one, Albert would know most dogs have little trouble laying their tawdry emotional baggage on you. Who needs a machine to know a dog is hungry... Dogs are always hungry, deal with it. That's their job, dogs eat all the food that lands near them and lick their crotch until they fall asleep on the sofa. I know most people would call that a full and happy life...

Who knows this could be the start of a horrifying wave of Stepford Hounds. Maybe the next step is turning the barks and growls iinto english so the world is safe for cheap bodice-ripper novels. It's a dog's life any way you look at it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

How About a Game of RPS - 15 ?

I was reading over at the Exploding Ardvark and I found a link to the following madness. Thanks Banshee!

Now here's a game for people with way too much time on their hands and a rainman like ability to remember who beats what and how. Warning! Abuse of this game may cause Repetetive Stress Injuries.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction

Fri Sep 16,10:30 AM ET

Here is a shocking story from Down-Under that I thought I'd share it with you campers. I wonder if they put similarly dressed men on treadmills and wired them up to a power grid if they could be a viable alternative energy source. It has to work better than the squirrel cage dynamo.

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

"It sounded almost like a firecracker," Clewer told Australian radio Friday.

"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt."

Employees, unsure of the cause of the mysterious burning smell, telephoned firefighters who evacuated the building.

"There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we could hear a cracking noise -- a bit like a whip -- both inside and outside the building," said fire official Henry Barton.

Firefighters cut electricity to the building thinking the burns might have been caused by a power surge.

Clewer, who after leaving the building discovered he had scorched a piece of plastic on the floor of his car, returned to seek help from the firefighters.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer's jacket and stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

David Gosden, a senior lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University, told Reuters that for a static electricity charge to ignite a carpet, conditions had to be perfect.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and then a spark generated by very dry air above them," said Gosden

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Cellphone Hell

I may be wrong but I think cellphones are the steaming turds of satan! This seemingly benign device has eroded public manners and personal privacy. It has brought about a culture based on the ideal of free range rudeness. Do you really want to hear about someone's visit to the proctologist while trying to eat lunch? Where is the cone of silence from "Get Smart" when we really need it? The worst offenders are the people with the infernal walkie-talkie Not only do you get to hear the schmuck bellowing unimportant information to another moron. Now you get the honor of hearing the moron on the other end bellow too!

Cellphone users remind me of those seriously disturbed people one used to see wandering in the park yammering into the air while gesticulating wildly. It is a retreat into a nonrelational space while in public. It is as if the world is not real, only what comes through that piece of plastic has any reality to these poor addicts.

Now to my horror I have discovered this pernicious sickness is spreading across species. There is a company that markets a collar for pets that allows you to put a cellphone on the animal. The age of miracles has not passed! Now you can talk to fluffy any time and anywhere. Sheeesh does that idea reek of terminal affluenza.

Excuse me, I am off to beat my head against the wall. What in the hell was I thinking?

Friday, July 15, 2005

Steve, Don't Eat It!

The Sneeze - Half zine. Half blog. Half not good with fractions.

Let me give a word of explaination. Men are on a quest for weird food. We will try anything no matter how revolting, in fact the stranger the better is our motto. When we see a ancient dusty jar of something like pickled chicken gizzards on the supermarket shelf, we take it as a challenge. A rite of passage to true manliness.

This is a howlingly funny chronicle of one man's journey into the bowels of the kingdom of bad tastes. Bon apetit!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Great TP Crisis of 2005

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

Once upon a time in Finland, a little bunny was hopping through the snow. The young rabbit was romping merrily and not paying attention. Suddenly he crashed into a Polarbear hunkered down over a log.

The little fellow was so shocked to see the fierce bear there in front of him that he froze with fright. He did not know what to do or say.

The bear looked at the bunny and said in a deep low voice that shook the branches. "Do not be afraid little fellow. I want to ask you a question and then you may be on your way. Tell me little rabbit. Does shit stick to your fur?"

The little fellow burst into a grin and his eyes grew wide with delight as he answers the bear. "No, kind and wise old bear. I have personally never had to deal with that problem."

"Good! then this should not bother you." chortled the bear as he wiped his ass with the rabbit before wandering off happily humming a tune.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Free at Last

Boing Boing: Chicago's Bean sculpture is free to photograph, at last

Citizen... step slowly away from that giant mirrored metal bean. We are the Photogrphy Police! Freeze and put down that camera and nobody will get hurt. Thank you for obeying all copyright laws while visiting our park and have a nice day.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Wendy's finger given by man to settle debt

Wendy's finger given by man to settle debt - Yahoo! News

Giving Wendy's The Finger

Man Settles Debt with Severed Finger

Ok! It now looks like the strange case of the human finger in the bowl of Wendy's chili has taken another turn. This one brings a whole new meaning to the term "pound of flesh".

Anna Ayala had claimed she found part of a human finger in a bowl of chili. Needless to say it did upset more than some people's digestive process. It appears that she got caught... My first question was: where did she get the finger?

She is in jail awaiting trial on attempted grand theft charges for the millions of dollars Wendy's International Inc. lost as a result of the negative publicity after her claim.She is also charged with conspiracy to present a false or fraudulent insurance claim. If convicted of all charges, she faces a maximum penalty of nine years and eight months in state prison.

The San Francisco Chronicle reported Brian Paul Rossiter, 36, of Las Vegas seems to have had a run of bad luck. Serious money problems, due to the loss of part of a finger in an accident at work provided the one crucial piece of the hoax.

Rossiter lost part of a finger when his hand got caught in a truck lift in December at the paving company where he worked with Anna Ayala's husband. Rossiter gave the finger to the husband of Anna Ayala to settle a $50 debt, the newspaper said.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Happy Belated Mother's Day

A Happy Ending Dog Story

Here was an article that caught my attention today. I'm not too keen on excessive sentimentality but this did bring an ironic smile to these old lips. Nothing like unconditional love of a true mother, no matter what the species may be. The dog's actions speaks so much more eloquently to what some call the virtues of humanity than the baby's biological mother's actions ever did.

Stray Dog Saves Abandoned Baby

NAIROBI, Kenya - A newborn baby abandoned in a Kenyan forest was saved by a stray dog who apparently carried her across a busy road and through a barbed wire fence to a shed where the infant was discovered nestled with a litter of puppies, witnesses said Monday.