Monday, May 30, 2011

Elvis Saves Memphis From The Zombie Horde

That was not what happened but it sounded good.

I was drinking my morning coffee and watching the morning news when there was a report on a zombie parade which took place in Memphis Tennessee yesterday. After checking my supply of shotgun shells, can goods chain mail anti shark bite suit, steel gauntlets, helmet and Kevlar athletic cup, I calmed down and searched Da Google To my horror I discovered this has been going on around the world for many years now (Now laugh at me when I am on a soapbox telling all who will listen about the conspiracy surrounding the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I mean... really! Why else would they invent peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a can?)

Oh, what the hell was I thinking? It looks like it was a food drive to help feed tornado victims. Always a good cause and a good way to get a dry run avoiding zombie mob without losing your parts in the coming future. Whew I have talked myself down from the ledge and ready do whatever in the hell I was going to do before I frightened myself.

Zombie walk

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A zombie walk (also known as a zombie mob, zombie march, zombie horde, zombie lurch, zombie shamble, zombie shuffle or zombie crawl) is an organized public gathering of people who dress up in zombie costumes. Usually taking place in an urban center, the participants make their way around the city streets and through shopping malls to a public space (or a series of taverns in the case of a zombie pub crawl) in a somewhat orderly fashion.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Attack of the Killer Watermelons

I was watching a local news program and saw this story. It was too weird to go without comment.

The bad news is field after field of watermelons are exploding on farms in eastern China. So far, the exploding watermelons have been localized around Danyang City in China's Jiangsui province. The good news is China has taken the lead in the development of weaponized fruit. It appears to be a case of overuse of the growth chemical forchlorfenuron. The melons were exploding in a cloud of flying pips, pink pulp and shards of rind. An investigation has been launched to find the exact cause of this fruity mayhem, however Gallagher was unavailable for comment, just stating he had an alibi.

About 20 farmers around Danyang city in Jiangsu province were affected, losing up to 115 acres (45 hectares) of melon. A CCTV report described the watermelons as "land mines" and said they were exploding by the acre (hectare) in the Danyang area.