I may be wrong but I think cellphones are the steaming turds of satan! This seemingly benign device has eroded public manners and personal privacy. It has brought about a culture based on the ideal of free range rudeness. Do you really want to hear about someone's visit to the proctologist while trying to eat lunch? Where is the cone of silence from "Get Smart" when we really need it? The worst offenders are the people with the infernal walkie-talkie Not only do you get to hear the schmuck bellowing unimportant information to another moron. Now you get the honor of hearing the moron on the other end bellow too!
Cellphone users remind me of those seriously disturbed people one used to see wandering in the park yammering into the air while gesticulating wildly. It is a retreat into a nonrelational space while in public. It is as if the world is not real, only what comes through that piece of plastic has any reality to these poor addicts.
Now to my horror I have discovered this pernicious sickness is spreading across species. There is a company that markets a collar for pets that allows you to put a cellphone on the animal. The age of miracles has not passed! Now you can talk to fluffy any time and anywhere. Sheeesh does that idea reek of terminal affluenza.
Excuse me, I am off to beat my head against the wall. What in the hell was I thinking?